summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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