He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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