if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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