you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
