i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
