does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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