South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i will never coherently bang her
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
