Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
