I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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