Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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