im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
