im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
