Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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