Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
