i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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