U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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