Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
