just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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