"it" just moved
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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