you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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