I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
