porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
