Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
