You just made me feel so damn special
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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