You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
