New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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