but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
