is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
