Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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