This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
