I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
