I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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