There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
