Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
