My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
