And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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