It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
