Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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