it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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