What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
