Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
