Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
