Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
