If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
