youre lurking in front of me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
