the condom got lost in my hair
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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