I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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