Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
