don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize