420 ftw
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
