He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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