So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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