just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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She has the best kind of daddy issues
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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