3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
