a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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