Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
