Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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