whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
